Unplanned eventualities...

It's virtually impossible to plan for every eventuality before departing on a cross-border trip. One such aberration occurred relatively recently on a trip to Botswana. Getting into Botswana via Stockpoort border post was easy. Getting back through the same border post into South Africa proved a trial for reasons which will become apparent.

Stockpoort / Parr's Halt is our preferred border entry for our numerous trips to Botswana. Although not centrally located it's close enough to our home in Johannesburg and the formalities are always, well, 'just formalities'. Both the South African and Botswana border officials are genial enough which gives me the opportunity to catch up on the latest weather / news and other goings-on in the area. It's a nice way to 'officially' start a Botswana bush-break. Incidentally, as an aside, don't be put off by the gravel road section just after Parr's Halt. It's only 50 odd kilometers long and the 'road's-not-so-bad'!

We had spent an idyllic two weeks in the Moremi, Savuti and Chobe regions of Botswana before returning home to South Africa via the same border-post. By way of background we were a party of four travelling in two fully-laden, luxury 4x4 vehicles. Given the nature of our trip both vehicles were extensively customised for the Botswana conditions. For those of you unfamiliar with what that would entail customising usually includes fridges, compressors, additional electrical systems, 2-way radios, water tanks, storage, roof-racks, MT tyres etc. Both the vehicles had been across borders many times before.

You'll recall we had left via Stockpoort border post some two weeks prior...

Getting through the Botswana side (Parr's Halt) was a cinch, as usual. Getting one of the vehicles through Stockpoort was also a cinch, as usual.... However we knew something was up when five (5) armed policemen exited the office in an agitated state only to descend on the second vehicle and its occupants, my elderly parents. You can imagine our confusion......  As it turns out the vehicle had FAILED clearance inspection and was in fact reported stolen. My Mom and Dad, both in their sixties, are the epitome of integrity and a lesson to everyone I know on what it means to be a 'good citizen'. Claims that their vehicle had been reported stolen and that, as its occupants, they were, by definition, it's thieves were therefore preposterous and almost amusing if it wasn't for the serious nature of the allegation. You see the vehicle was no more than a year old and had been bought, by my parents, brand new from the dealership. Since the vehicle was still in their possession they had not thought it necessary to report it stolen.... They were, so to speak, enjoying the fruits of their labours.

Although the SAPS officers, once everybody had calmed down, suspected that my parents were not the desperados the system claimed them to be, they were, however, obliged to impound the vehicle and arrest them as required by the law. Nobody could fault the policemen who were, to a man, very professional if not a little confused. No cellphone reception at the border compounded the issue. By late afternoon nothing much had changed despite numerous calls to the regional SAPS office in Ellisras, some 70 odd kilometers away. The system clearly identified the vehicle's chassis & engine number as stolen. I was 'free-to-proceed' but obviously declined. It was decided, given the circumstances and late hour, that our case would be better heard at Ellisras. All four of us were therefore transferred to Ellisras police station; my parents under armed guard and my husband and I in 'hot-pursuit' behind them in our own vehicle.

Whilst the 'stolen' vehicle was immediately impounded on our arrival in Ellisras pending further investigation, my parents were placed 'in-my-care' under house arrest as long as we all remained in Ellisras until told otherwise. Even at the late hour the Station Commander had personally taken over our 'case' which was fortunate in that he could liaise directly with the Johannesburg branch commander in charge of the investigation.

This then is the story and it's compelling...

It transpired that the vehicle had been hijacked off the delivery truck parked in the dealership's driveway. At the time the dealership's manager, hearing the commotion, grabbed his own firearm and 'engaged' the hijackers who then fled in 'our' vehicle, in peak traffic, down a main road. The intrepid dealership manager decided to pursue the hijackers in his own vehicle and continued to fire his firearm at the escaping would-be hijackers. They in turn fired wildly back. He was obviously the better shot and one round at least found its mark, punching holes through 'our' (as yet undelivered) vehicle. The hijackers, in turn, careened the vehicle over the pavement into oncoming traffic and collided with not one but two vehicles. The would-be-thieves deciding the action a little too hot for comfort, exited the vehicle and fled the scene, never to be seen again.... In the interim, unbeknownst to our intrepid dealership manager, the vehicle transport company had immediately reported the vehicle stolen and thus it remained for close on a year and MANY other trips out of the country later leading, 'eventually', to my parents arrest for armed robbery 'grand-auto'.

The vehicle had therefore been hijacked, shot at and damaged; ramped over pavements at high speed and collided head-on into oncoming traffic. The dealership recovered the vehicle and had it repaired 'on-the-quiet'. Shortly thereafter the vehicle was delivered as a new vehicle 'off-the-floor' to my unsuspecting parents happy to take delivery after a 'brief' delay. Needless to say we were released by Ellisras after 24 hours of confused misery.

Planning for every eventuality before your trip is sometimes difficult........

iSimangaliso Wetland Park - Sodwana Bay's accommodation options

Ezemvelo KZN Wildlife's accommodation options at Sodwana Bay include 10 five-bed Swiss-style log cabins; 10 eight-bed cabins; Gwalagwala, a luxurious camping site [33 stands] and other camping sites some with power points, others not.

Half our party preferred a camp site at Gwalagwala, the other half stayed in one of the five-bed cabins. Neither option is particularly cheap. In fact you could almost say that both options are exceedingly expensive. Nevertheless, any trip to the Elephant Coast more than makes up for any niggles along the way.

We were allocated No. 13 which would not be my first choice by any means. The cabin enjoys no view worth mentioning. It's cold and badly positioned drawing very little warmth from the late afternoon sun. Its really quite morose, if you like. The patio trestle table was rusted past its useful life. The chairs need replacing. Inside the furniture is dated and the lighting dingy. The freezer door wouldn't seal and the kitchen taps dripped constantly. Although the linen was clean, strangely for the three nights we were in this particular cabin neither the linen nor the towels were changed once. The cabin is supposedly serviced, which wasn't always the case. Some two or three days later we asked to be moved to a more favourable cabin and to the reception staffs' credit we were immediately accommodated. Housekeeping's Nicolas was very accommodating. Cabin No. 9 was a vast improvement. The views over the ocean and lagoon are spectacular. Late afternoon bird parties love the large tree in front of the cabin. We're all keen birders!

Unfortunately the weather proved difficult so we spent less time on the patio than we would have liked, particularly in the evening. The  plastic table was in much better condition, obviously; the chairs too. Our braai (barbecue) facilities were pitifully tied together with wire. No grid was in evidence, anywhere. We fixed that rather quickly.. Even though both the Samango & the Vervet monkeys are a nuisance, raiding bins and kitchens too, there is little reason why plastic bags and other garbage should be scattered throughout the coastal forest in and around the cabin. We fixed that too.. Inside the cabin the furniture was much more suitable except for the bar-stools which had the bracing bars on the legs missing. Our children, who sat on the stools are young fortunately but we fixed those too.. Besides the braai facilities the two major gripes were the front door which wouldn't stay latched unless locked and the absence of hot water on more than one occasion. The cabin's hot water is gas heated and as ever the gas always runs out at 8pm just before the evening shower... Housekeeping attended to the gas the next morning but not the door. The five-sleeper has two bedrooms, the main suite with a king-size bed which unfortunately impedes the opening of the cupboard. The private door onto the patio is a good idea. The other bedroom, designed principally for children, obviously, has a single bed and a bunk-bed. The rooms are clean and functional. Amazingly none of the linen or the towels were changed for a week until we insisted otherwise. The kitchen is adequate and is comprehensively equipped. The microwave proved a mystery to us all and needs replacing! Nevertheless, the cabin is cosy and adequate.

The rest of the party preferred their own comforts and camped at Gwalagwala, the so-called luxury camping site. Even though the sites are more than adequate there are no obviously discernable differences between the Gwalagwala sites and the 'normal' sites except for price..?

Anybody who has ever been to Sodwana will usually note if not complain about the horde of people offering camp-cleaning services for the duration of your trip. Even so, the few people who were employed seemed pleasantly competent. I mention this because the KZN camping staff, officially employed, were woefully incompetent. The ablution blocks were generally grubby. The showers had no hot water for days. Our allocated site had no braai-facilities. The camp sites themselves were never raked nor cleaned. Perhaps KZN expects their guests to provide their own labour...

Sodwana Bay is NOT a shore fisherman's dream.

Fishermen take note! Sodwana Bay is OVER-RATED. It is, however, important to differentiate between shore-angling and offshore angling. 

My family and I, all keen fishermen, spent the last two weeks at Sodwana in the iSimangaliso Wetland Park. From the outset the weather proved difficult. The water temp. of 20 degrees didn't help too much; neither did the easterly wind. Offshore fishing was satisfactory. Admittedly fishing in the winter has its challenges. Nevertheless we did land a 125kg Blacktip reef shark and some decent couta [King Mackerel]; all on live-bait. Bonita were plentiful and we missed a sailfish or two on the rapalas. Other boats landed a few Yellowfin Tuna and some decent Wahoo. Incidentally couta are, in my opinion, the finest eating fish in the world. Marlin are generally absent at this time of the year. Quite rightly then, Sodwana is considered a world-class offshore angling destination. Shore or surf-angling off its beaches is another story entirely!

In years gone by it wasn't a rarity to catch large kingfish in the bay from off the beach. Sight-casting to feeding  GTs with a popper or drop-shot, on light-tackle is fishing second to none! Fishing at night is usually the only way to fish the Zululand waters. Sliding for large inedibles ie: skates and sharks is still possible in the bay at night given the correct conditions and before the boats launch at dawn. One or two smaller kingfish are still taken. At any other time [ie: when the first sunrays hit the water until sunset] the fishing is dreadful. No amount of scratching with either bait or plastic in and around the bay or further south off the ledges yields even a single bite. Small kingfish and wave-runners are entirely absent. Bonefish are non-existent. We did land over the course of two weeks one or two undersized shad on small spoons north of the bay. 

Fishing improves 20kms further up the coast and down south near Cape Vidal. Anybody who tells you that fishing from the shore in and around Sodwana is anything more than rubbish probably hasn't been there for a while.

Hoogland Health Hydro - ??

I'm not a 'hydro' fundi by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, just the thought of forcibly eating micro doses of vegan for a day or two puts me in a protein-deprived state of nausea... What people see in these 'houses of health-pantomime' is beyond me. If you like decadence get a manicure and a head-massage an hour or two before lunch at the Saxon; then leave!

Nevertheless, I recently visited the Hoogland Health Hydro on a whim, had a look around and was underwhelmed, to say the least. This 400 hectare property, a little west of Pretoria in the Schurveberg, is home to a variety of game. It's also the most accessible site for the pretoriae subspecies of the Short-toed Rock-Thrush, an ornithological favourite for those thus inclined! Partially endemic flora and particularly the winter-flowering aloes are a personal favourite. The drive through the reserve down to the hydro is pleasant enough. Even so, geologically there's not much on offer, but the views, generally, from atop the mountains are memorable. That's the good part.

The first thing you'll notice at the hydro is the surprising number of guest vehicles parked haphazardly under cover or under suitably shady trees. The hydro is seemingly popular and for the life of me I'm not sure why. The grounds are shockingly unkempt. Old jacuzzi-baths and three-legged chairs decay quietly in the nearby flower-beds. Rusted drums and other discarded bric-a-brac are strewn casually around the grounds, migrating, eventually, under the pull of gravity to the nearby stream; an obvious health-hazard! Garbage is collected and burnt in an old concrete 'dam', well within an average health-nut's stones throw of the pool. The pall of black smoke hanging over the garden is testimony to that fact.

Built in the 1970s the buildings are somewhat derelict and in need of renovation or a little TLC, at the very least. The interior decor is dated and altogether a little grubby. In a nutshell the ambiance / atmosphere is reminiscent of a retirement village, forlorn and forgotten.

Amazingly, per the owner, 50% of the patients (his words not mine) are 'returning-regulars'; suckers for punishment if you ask me...

Skukuza's 'Wooden Banana' - Enough is enough!

Eating at any of the restaurants in the Kruger National Park is usually unpleasant, mediocre at best. Whether it's at the buffet table or from the fast-food outlet, the experience is unforgettable and always for the wrong reasons.

The Wooden Banana (?) at Skukuza, the park's flagship camp, deserves its name. The staff are woefully incompetent, surly and poorly trained.  Management's to blame. It's a cheap and dirty business model. Who on earth awarded these people the catering contract?

I recently observed the counter staff treat a group of twenty American visitors with complete disdain. 'Culture' does NOT excuse incompetence. ALL front-line staff should treat their customers with respect. Private conversation should be conducted outside of WORKING Hours (remember the concept?) and certainly not between the counter staff and the kitchen staff some 30 meters away and NEVER whilst customers wait to be served. The American group, frustrated by the 'language barrier' [??] and obviously annoyed by their treatment still spent over R2000 on 'food' and drink.

If the staff are poor inside 'the banana', wait and see what's waiting out on deck.... It's plainly a dump. Tables are never wiped and just generally filthy. Litter is usually strewn across the floor. Condiments & sauce bottles are dusty or smeared with old sauce or grime. The deck itself is plainly a health hazard, covered in unsavoury bits of decaying food, guano and other 'material'. Umbrellas are never opened or clean.

All this, however, pales into insignificance when served the slop passed as food. The fries ['chips'] are fried in what could be old motor-oil and served an awful rancid yellow in colour. The chicken is precooked, then heated, a recipe for disaster. Do yourself a favour and NEVER order a toasted sandwich..Mouldy bread (bread rolls too) has been served to me more than once. On another occasion, the chicken mayo sandwich served to me was rotten. The shade of green on the chicken and the accompanying stench was a clue too subtle, obviously, and missed completely by the waitress, 'chef' and 'QC' Manager. Incidentally, whoever runs the kitchen should be fired. It's quite obvious that he/she is completely out of his/her depth. There's just never enough stock on hand, ever!

Now, let's be honest. Nobody expects the 'banana', which is little more than a canteen really, to serve 5-star fare. Expecting courteous service, fresh ingredients well-prepared, a hygienic surface from which to eat and a modicum of comfort should not, however, be too much to ask for, surely?

Go camping, it's fun..

The best trips are often 'spur-of-the moment' decisions and half the fun, usually, is anticipating the unexpected. We decided that a weekend away to the Kruger National Park would prove just the tonic for our JHB-wearied spirits. Anybody who has ever tried to book a last minute trip to the KNP will tell you that securing accommodation is virtually impossible, always fully-booked well in advance either by booking agents and or by self-drive travelers, local and foreign. Getting specific accommodation i.e: at a chosen camp, is even more difficult.

We wanted to stay at Satara, our favourite camp in the central Kruger, famous for its sightings of lion and other big game. As expected, the camp was fully-booked. There was, however, some 'camping' availability. We're not new to camping having over-landed in most of Africa's wilderness areas which require total self-sufficiency. Camping in the Kruger though had, until now, seemed 'unnecessary'. The park's formal accommodation is perfectly adequate and well-priced, generally. Given no option, however, we packed a 'three-day katundu' [camping equipment to see us through three days] and set off a little later than expected on Friday morning.

The drive to Orpen (the closest entrance gate to the central parts of the park) via Bushbuckridge in Mpumalanga, is always 'fun'. Cattle, goats, 'thirsty traffic officials' and unruly pedestrians can be a distraction... Nevertheless, we arrived at the park a little before three and used the remaining two and a half hours of daylight to travel the 50 kms to Satara camp. Our first lesson in 'Kruger-camping' we learnt as soon as we arrived. None of the sites are pre-booked, allocated or demarcated in any way. It's a free for all first come, first served buffet of inefficiency. Getting to the camp late, as we did, obviously had us scratching amongst the 'campsite-dregs'. Caravans of all sizes, shapes and hues cluttered the area from fence-post to lavatory-post [why do caravaners actively pursue the closest spot permissible to the olfactory pleasure that is the communal latrine??)

We eventually found the perfect spot well away from halogen lights and the clamour of miniature-satellite-dish assisted television [??] and set up our little canvas dome-tent and some chairs. Our second lesson in 'Kruger-camping' became obvious when our grumbling stomachs hinted that it was time to light the fire... There wasn't a braai-stand to be found anywhere! Some of our fellow 'campers' had commandeered two, sometimes three, braai-stands. It takes a LOT of wors ('sausage'), it seems, to feed some of those boys... Housekeeping fortunately found and delivered us a spare braai-stand. Annoyingly though, the grid was befouled with old grease and grit. Take a brush or your own grid, another lesson.

A crackling fire is considered medicine for the soul and this night was no different. Scops, White-faced and Barn Owls called quietly in the dark. The distant roaring of a lion was almost, but not completely drowned-out by drunken laughter from the nearest chalets [...yes, it's not ALWAYS the pesky campers that make the most noise] (BTW: KNP authorities have banned the sale of alcohol to non-residents, a BIG thumbs-up! You'll see fewer cans littering the roadside and better behaved visitors at the picnic sites. Now for those unnecessary 'day-trip safari vans'....). 


The most unnerving aspect when camping in the Kruger is the enforced use of the communal ablution facilities. Shades of plague-ridden nightmares past conjure up images of filthy pans and mud-splattered baths all of which usually haunt the first-time camper. This is, however, not the case. We found the ablutions clean and orderly. Besides the precautionary and obvious need for foot-gear, there's nothing 'grim' about the ablution facilities; our forth 'Kruger-camping' lesson.

The 'old-timers' will remember years gone by when strangers met around a fire to discuss the day's events; what was seen, where and when. Some formed lasting friendships. Interestingly, those days still exist in the campsites of Kruger.

Go camping, it's fun....


ps: for those of you who consider yourselves spiritual please note the 'orb' in the top right of this picture... (That's a story for another time)

South Africa - New grading criteria

The Tourism Grading Council of South Africa (TGCSA) recently updated the travel industry with its new grading criteria. I'll admit it's internationally competitive and credible but it still falls short on the most critical issues.

Travelers to this country are entitled to quality assurance. Unfortunately, the majority of first-time travelers don't know what to expect from their chosen lodges / hotel etc. and settle for a less than full experience. This is particularly the case  in the safari industry. It's possible for lodge-owners to secure a top grading without providing the traveler with the appropriate safari-experience, which I imagine, is what the traveler wants from his /her safari in the first place. A 5-star lodge in a small private reserve with semi-tame wildlife does NOT provide the same experience as a 5-star lodge in a wilderness area with free-roaming wildlife. Both lodges advertise their grading and both are entitled to charge a similar rate, yet it's obvious the lodges don't provide the same experience. In fact having been to many of these 5-star lodges in small private reserves, advertised as Big-5 [i.e: free-roaming lion, elephant, rhino, buffalo and leopard] I can say from experience that the vast majority fall woefully short on providing the right wildlife experience. For example, a small pride of lion in a small camp within the reserve, separated from the rest of the wildlife in the reserve, can be legally advertised as 'free-roaming' [ie: not tied to a tree?], but this is NOT the experience we should be providing our visiting guests.

In addition, 5-star lodges with an unacceptable environmental impact should NOT have the same grade as a 5-star lodge with minimal impact on the environment. The same can be said of the facility's social conscience. Lodges which involve the local community should have a better grade than a similar aesthetically appealing lodge which doesn't.

In my opinion food plays an important role too. Defining 'good food' is subjective but it's quite obvious that guests should be exposed to SOUTH AFRICAN cuisine prepared well rather than international cuisine even if well-prepared, particularly in the bush. I would like to think that we can provide local dishes to our visitors without embarrassment. I recall a visit to Londolozi, a private lodge in the world-renowned Sabi Sands, adjacent the Kruger National Park which served my party French cuisine for our entire three-day stay. The food was well-prepared and yet local travelers were VERY unhappy. Our foreign guests, once enlightened, were also unhappy. Even though the game-viewing experience was magnificent, the staff wonderful and the facilities world-class, the EXPERIENCE fell short, badly so and remains the abiding memory from that particular trip.

In the end it's up to the travel industry to enlighten our foreign guests, prove that the REAL South Africa has a place as a world-class travel destination and stands alone as an experience to be remembered as truly South African. Being good at what we're not doesn't differentiate us as a destination.